Marvel’s Spider-Man: Homecoming – The Nerfed Llamas Review

Marvel’s Spider-Man: Homecoming – The Nerfed Llamas Review. Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can… or does he?

Another summer… another superhero film. Ah, but a new Spider-Man film is not just a superhero movie, it’s a movie featuring my absolute favorite comic book hero of all time. I could hit you with a gushing diatribe about my love for Spider-Man like I did with James Bond and Mass Effect, but I’ll keep it simple: I’ve been reading Spider-Man comics for over 30 years and have read every single issue of The Amazing Spider-Man, Spectacular Spider-Man, Web of Spider-Man, and a whole bunch of various other Spider-Man comic books, graphic novels, spin-offs, mini series, and naturally Amazing Fantasy 15. When it comes to Spidey, I absolutely love him. So it is with great excitement that I go to see each new Spider-Man film as it allows me to see in glorious full motion what the pages of the comics can only convey in beautiful still images. There is a tremendous amount of terrifically choreographed frenetic acrobatic awesomeness in each of the Spider-Man movies, as they each try to capture the adrenaline rush of web swinging through the city of New York and the awkward style in which he fights crime. By and large, all of the Spider-Man movies have done an expert job of nailing down the movement and action that make this hero so much fun to watch. On other aspects of the storied character of Peter Parker/Spider-Man it can be kind of hit and miss. The new film Spider-Man: Homecoming was hoping to be the film that finally expertly nailed all of the aspects of the Spider-Man experience… but it doesn’t quite ever get there. Homecoming is a fully entertaining film, but like its predecessors is flawed, but in all new yet equally frustrating ways.

Here is a the final trailer for Spider-Man Homecoming:

Before We Start, A Brief History of Modern Spider-Man Cinema:

We’ll gloss over James Cameron’s failed attempt to bring Spider-Man to the big screen in the 90’s, because by many accounts we dodged a major bullet on that one (here is allegedly the treatment that Cameron pitched – be advised if true, a lot of it is cringe worthy). Sony’s original Spider-Man film trilogy directed by Sam Raimi started way back in 2002, and set in motion a highly successful film franchise for one of Marvel’s most iconic heroes. Raimi’s Spider-Man films were not without their flaws (especially the third one), but are generally considered a good representation of the over all Spider-Man experience (again, with the exception of the third one). To this day, Raimi’s Spider-Man 2 is still considered the gold standard for solo superhero films, and yes it is a quite excellent film that is sitting pretty at 94% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. The biggest gripe you could levy against the first 2 movies is that Spider-Man just wasn’t very talkative when he was out doing his superhero thing. In the comics Spidey is cracking jokes and constantly engaging in witty banter with the villains, partially to throw the enemy off their game and mostly to stop himself from freaking out while fighting them. The quipping gives Spider-Man confidence and is a coping mechanism. Raimi did an excellent job establishing Peter Parker’s life, family, friends, and troubles. He even nailed the action segments very well. Unfortunately, he didn’t nail the actual character of Spider-Man. It can be a hard balance to strike when you have a larger than life hero character protecting a vastly different secret identity, as the Batman movies have proven uneven in this way as well. If you want a masterclass in nailing the dichotomy between hero and secret identity, watch Christopher Reeve’s performance as the title character in Richard Donner’s 1978 film Superman. In 2012, Sony decided to relaunch the film series with a new cast and origin as The Amazing Spider-Man. There were 2 movies directed by Marc Webb in this iteration and they portrayed a very different Peter Parker and Spider-Man than their predecessor. What’s funny here, is that Amazing Spider-Man nails the quippy hyper-talkative stuff but completely misses the mark with Peter Parker. These movies are entertaining enough, even if they try to accomplish too much too quickly, and they tack on a bizarrely complex story with Peter’s birth parents that truthfully adds nothing to the over all narrative. All of this brings us to 2017, when a co-production between Sony and Marvel Studios brings us Spider-Man: Homecoming, a film that is tied directly to the larger Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU for short). this iteration of Spider-Man was first introduced in the 2016 Captain America: Civil War film and will be returning for The Avengers: Infinity War and at least one more solo film (although he’ll likely be in far more than that once it’s all said and done).

Spider-Man: Homecoming Spoiler Free Review:

To be fair to Spider-Man: Homecoming it really is in a tough spot. With 2 series of Spider-Man movies already existing, totaling 5 feature films, that makes this new film the third unique stab at the iconic character in just 15 years. The good news is that if you already love the MCU and think that Spider-Man is cool, Homecoming is a pretty fun movie to sit through. The bad news is that if you are a die hard classic Spider-Man fan, it is unfortunately not a great movie to sit through. There are a lot of liberties taken with the Spider-Man mythology, things that other films and even all of the various animated versions have not greatly altered. One of these liberties is a massive overhaul of how Spider-Man learns the “with great power comes great responsibility” lesson. Depending on how you accept these changes will directly influence how much you will like any of the other major changes. I for one, did not like that this lesson comes mainly comes from Tony Stark. So, take my review with a grain of salt as you may like things about Homecoming that I did not. Also, it is worth noting that if you prefer (as I do not) the Ultimate Spider-Man version of the franchise, you will likely enjoy this movie more than I did.

What I liked about Spider-Man: Homecoming: First and foremost, Homecoming is the only live action movie to feature an actor who does a good job at portraying both Peter Parker and Spider-Man. This cannot be understated, as Spider-Man is a package deal that requires both sides of his identity to play a prominent role in the movie. As I stated in the history of Spider-Man movies, none of the other films absolutely nailed this duality. Tom Holland easily puts in the best over all filmed performance of both Peter and Spidey. It is also worth mentioning that the writers team did a good job in crafting the more comic accurate dual Peter/Spidey character in a way that had not been seen in other Spider-Man films before. Also, the scenes with Aunt May and Peter together are solid gold good.

The diverse ensemble cast is a huge strength in Homecoming. Seeing so much amazing representation in the film makes Midtown High look and feel like a genuine New York City high school. It grounds Peter’s world in a believable way and helps modernize aspects of Spider-Man’s mythology that haven’t aged well in the last 50+ years. In particular, I thought that Zendaya, Laura Harrier, and Jacob Batalon did a terrific job as the teenagers Michelle, Liz, and Ned respectively. However, their were also some great turns from the adults as Michael Choi, Bokeem Woodbine, and Donald Glover added some solid performances to the growing cast of superb actors. All in all, this is a film that peppers the world with many diverse and interesting characters and is all the better for it.

The action scenes are well filmed and have a solid comic book feel to them. Spider-Man moves with great ease and is exceptionally agile. The web play is terrific, and shown with a lot of variety from swinging, attacking, and subduing enemies. The Vulture is far more formidable in this film than he usually is in the comics and it makes for some tense and exciting action.

When the movie focuses on the problems that Peter faces in balancing his “normal” life with his superhero alter ego, it truly shines. The part of Spider-Man comics that makes them so special is that Peter Parker is relatable. He wasn’t rich and he didn’t have access to unlimited resources and technology (I use the past tense, because in the current amazing Spider-Man comics Peter is apparently rich, and is basically Tony Stark but with a heart… or something. I don’t love it). In Homecoming, Peter struggles to maintain friendships and keep up with his personal responsibilities and nearly always comes up short on account of being Spider-Man. These moments are the best in the film.

What I didn’t like about Spider-Man: Homecoming: This film is effectively Iron Man 4. Normally I wouldn’t tag that assessment as a negative (I love Robert Downey Jr’s portrayal of Tony Stark), but in the case of Homecoming the deep ties to the Iron Man films really detracts from the Spider-Man setting. This movie feels like a tie-in movie more so than a standalone Spidey flick. It doesn’t feel nearly as organic as having all the characters show up in either Captain America: The Winter Soldier or Civil War. Many aspects of the plot, including the primary circumstances of the main characters, were influenced by something Tony Stark or a division of one of his companies has done. Also, this film only adds to my running theory that Tony Stark is the biggest villain in the MCU.

The added Stark technology in Spider-Man’s suit is a total drag. From the talking A.I. in the suit, to the over 500 different web settings, and all of the countless other enhancements really take away from the inherent ingenuity of Peter Parker. He has genius level intelligence, but the iSpider-Man suit reduces him to a moron as it is mainly there for comedic relief in a film that is already funny. Effectively, every time Peter chooses a new setting to try on his suit it ends up with him not being able to properly control it. The gag gets old quick. I prefer a Peter that gets by on his own creativity, and with so much emphasis being made on this Spidey super suit it hampered my enjoyment of the film greatly.

The ferry action scene is one of the worst action scenes I have ever seen in a big budget comic book film adaption in a long time. Not only does it show an absolute lack of understanding of how sea faring vessels work, it seems to think that a vessel that has been cut in twain can magically be glued together in a matter of seconds and then safely sailed back to port. The whole scene is absolutely ludicrous in all the worst ways. Also, it is super derivative of the train scene in Spider-Man 2, which is not a good thing as the train scene is vastly superior to the ferry scene in nearly every conceivable way.

There were some plot twists and/or reveals that added nothing to the movie, or plain just didn’t make any sense. To continue this thought goes well into spoiler territory, but to keep this safe for anyone that hasn’t seen the film, one of the big ones revolves around the character Michelle is completely baffling. In the end it feels like the 6, yes there were 6, writers of Homecoming just kept throwing hair-brain ideas that didn’t fit Spider-Man against the wall to see what would stick. Some of what they add in for apparently no reason (or subtract in some cases) is jarring to watch unfold, especially if you are a fan of the majority of core “The Amazing Spider-Man” comics from the last 50+ years.

Ultimately, for every thing I liked about Spider-Man: Homecoming, there was something that I didn’t like. It’s a difficult thing to talk about without going into spoilers, so I’ll save that conversation for after the main review. If you have seen the film (or don’t mind having the movie largely spoiled), read my spoiler filled thoughts below the bottom line to get a better understanding on what I mean on this point.

Bottom Line: Spider-Man: Homecoming is a sloppy fun mess. It is well worth the price of admission, and Tom Holland is a gem as both Peter Parker and Spidey, but it can’t seem to get the mythology behind both characters correct and takes some massive liberties on its way to try and not be Iron Man 4 (because it is totally Iron Man 4). It is a roller coaster ride of ups and downs that mostly add up to an entertaining experience. Homecoming is certainly not my favorite MCU film, and probably doesn’t even crack my top 10, but it is an enjoyable film that puts its own unique spin on the Spider-Man legacy. In some ways I applaud its uniqueness and in others I jeer at it. Ultimately, that is my lasting impression of Homecoming. It is a film that is asking you to buy into a version of the character that has never existed in this capacity before and I couldn’t do it, at least not completely. If you buy into it, then you will probably love this film. As it stands for me, I had to settle for having merely just enjoyed it.

For reals tho… this is not Iron Man 4, I repeat not Iron Man 4.

Spider-Man: Homecoming Discussion With Full Spoilers:

OK. So you’ve read my simple what “What I Liked,” “What I Didn’t Like” review that didn’t go deep into spoiler territory. It just covered the basis for how I perceived the general film. However, I walked away from Spider-Man: Homecoming with some strong feelings, both good and bad. As I continued to ruminate on these different thoughts it became clearer than ever that Spider-Man: Homecoming was a movie that featured an amazing Spider-Man (see what I did there?) that was trapped in a wildly mediocre movie. In order for me to discuss that in detail, I will have to go into full spoiler mode.


Like I mentioned in the general review above, Homecoming is a film that is struggling to find solid footing at every turn. For every bold stride forward there is a cowardly retreat taken in the very next step. to better illustrate this point, I will now share a long list of alternating good and bad points about Homecoming:

  • Good: Tom Holland as Peter Parker/Spider-Man – They did it. They finally found an actor who could convincingly pull off both Peter Parker and Spider-Man. Tom Holland knocks it out of the park, and will be a lot of fun to watch as Spider-Man for years to come. In Homecoming, Peter Parker is your average nerdy student that is just socially awkward enough to get picked on, but also personable enough to have a few friends. He struggles daily, not only with surviving being a dweeb in high school, but with balancing his personal life with his new superhero identity. Unfortunately, the ol’ Parker luck kicks in frequently and being Spider-Man makes it nearly impossible for him to enjoy living his teenage life. As Spider-Man, Holland brings a youthful exuberance to the role. He is an absolute goofy motormouth that is always spouting off silly stuff. When he’s bouncing around making jokes, it legitimately feels like you are watching the Spider-Man from the comics come to life. This is the closest we’ve ever gotten to having a nearly perfect Peter Parker/Spider-Man combo actor.
  • Bad: Not a single mention of Uncle Ben – Not once. Not even in passing. No “with great power comes great responsibility.” The closest we get is Peter mentioning that his Aunt May has been through a lot recently… and that’s it. What’s jarring about this omission is that it is central to Peter’s identity as Spider-Man. Uncle Ben is Peter’s moral compass. The voice in his head that constantly challenges him to do the right thing and to be the best version of himself that he can be. This voice is a curse of sorts, especially since Peter’s own inaction led directly to Uncle Ben dying in the first place. By not stopping the thief when he easily could have, he finally learns the lesson that his uncle tried teaching him about responsibility. It is a huge driving force at the core of any great Spider-Man mythology, and in Homecoming it does not exist. Just one mention, perhaps a heart to heart between Aunt May and Peter could have fixed this. Leaving Uncle Ben out is like Bruce Wayne’s parents not being killed in the alleyway of Gotham when he was just a young boy, it shows a lack of understanding of the deeper character of Peter Parker and what motivates him to be better.
  • Good: Spider-Man running out of web fluid – This is a classic Spider-Man conundrum, and I loved how it factored into the action multiple times. It is always funny, and it forces Spider-Man to think creatively as to how to solve his problem at hand. This film mines it for what it is worth, having him juggle ejected web cartridges as he tries to reload a new cartridge in time. It’s a time honored Spidey tradition that makes the movie feel authentically like the comics.
  • Bad: The iSpider-Man suit powered by Siri… I mean Karen – I actively loathe the intelligent Spider-Suit. Giving Spider-Man a suit with over 500 web spray settings, an interrogation mode, instant kill capabilities (not even kidding on this one), a freakin’ parachute, and so much more just makes the character feel all wrong. Add to it a voice within the suit that talks to Peter, the same way that Jarvis/Friday talks to Tony Stark, and again it just feels wrong. Spider-Man, especially a teenage version, should be scraping by doing the best he can to make his costume and gear. Having the equivalent of an Iron Man suit on Spider-Man just plain doesn’t work on any level. Again, it feels as if the writers had no idea what makes young Spider-Man work on a deeper level.
  • Good: Captain America short films – Not much to say about this other than that they were hilarious. From explaining the importance of physical education to not letting being in detention define who you are, the Cap short films were a riot. Excellent use of a cameo. Also, the post credits Cap short was amazing.
  • Bad: No spider-sense – Much like Uncle Ben in this movie, Spider-Man’s famous spider-sense that warns him of impending danger does not exist either. This is immediately apparent when Peter sneaks into his own room and takes off his Spider-Man mask and unknowingly reveals his identity to his best friend Ned Leeds, who is just waiting in the room for Peter to show up. This same thing more or less happens again at the end of the movie when Aunt May finds out that Peter is Spider-Man because he is goofing off with his newly returned Stark made Spider suit. This is very frustrating. The spider-sense is something I never foresaw being taken away from Spider-Man, and frankly speaking the movie suffered for its omission, both narratively and in properly presenting the title character’s full range of abilities.
  • Good: Marisa Tomei as Aunt May – I mentioned in my review for Captain America: Civil War that I had concerns about making Aunt May younger than she is usually portrayed in comics and other films. In the comics, Peter does not have a super hot Aunt May that everyone hits on. Tony Stark didn’t make this any better when he mentioned how absurdly hot she was in Captain America: Civil War. The good news, is that even though it is hinted at, they never fully lean into that aspect of her character. Instead, they allow Tomei to do what she excels at: playing an engagingly relatable character that capture your attention. Aunt May is always worried about Peter, but is also supportive. May knows that Peter is struggling and she does the best she can to help him cope by relating to him (especially the scene where she confronts him on sneaking out of the house) and by encouraging him to go spend time with his friends in school. If nothing else, Homecoming put to rest any fears I might have had about the direction that they were going to take with Aunt May.

    The relationship between Aunt May and Peter Parker is one of the best parts of Homecoming.
  • Bad: If not Iron Man 4, Homecoming is definitely Iron Man 3.5… Fight me – I know what you are going to say, but Spider-Man gets more screen time than Tony Stark/Iron Man, and that is true, but now let me present my case: Exhibit A) The film includes prominent roles for Tony Stark/Iron Man, Happy Hogan, and a cameo by Pepper Potts. B) Tony Stark shows up to lecture/coach Spider-Man multiple times. C) More than once, Iron Man teams up or saves Spider-Man. D) Happy is put in charge of monitoring Spider-Man’s progress and shows up frequently. E) Tony Stark effectively makes multiple fully loaded tech suits for Spider-Man. F) The main action of the third act takes place either at Avengers Tower (owned by Stark) or on the airplane that is taking the items that Vulture wants to steal from Stark. G) Spider-Man spends the entire movie trying to impress Tony Stark so that he can become a full fledged member of the Avengers. H) Tony Stark basically assumes the role model/father figure in Peter’s life, since apparently Uncle Ben doesn’t exist. I) The beginning of the movie is goofy short film by Peter that catalogs his road trip to Berlin with Tony Stark and Happy during Captain America: Civil War. J) Tony Stark’s co-venture with the United States Government: Damage Control, an agency that is tasked with collecting all of the special technology from big hero/villain showdowns, shows up after the Chitauri attacks in the first Avengers film and fires Adrian Toomes and his construction clean up crew, which is the key event that prompts him to become Vulture in the first place as losing the contract financially destroys him and his ability to support his family, which effectively means Tony Stark has created yet another MCU villain through his own negligence. K) Tony Stark’s solution for catching the Vulture and all of his alien tech? call the FBI and give a lecture to Spider-Man for trying to go after a villain that is too hard for him to capture… wait, what? And Tony thinks that the FBI can catch the Vulture? Hmmm… L) the film ends with Tony Stark getting engaged to Pepper Potts without any explanation as to how they reconciled their broken relationship (as established in Captain America: Civil War) in the first place. BOOM! At the very least I just gave you a dozen fully valid reasons why this film should have at the very least been titled, Marvel Team-Up: Spider-Man & Iron Man.
  • Good: Liz Allen as Peter Parker’s first crush – This is a nice callback for those of us who have read Stan Lee and Steve Ditko’s classic run on Amazing Spider-Man. Liz was Peter’s first crush in the comics, and even though they never ended up dating there were feelings on both sides of the equation (just too little too late on Liz’s part… the Parker luck again). The story in Homecoming is simplified that drastically alters Liz Allen’s character, but it still conveys a very similar tale. It’s good that there is some connection to even some of the oldest written lore in the Spider-Man comics (even if it is not Uncle Ben). Watching the awkward relationship between Peter and Liz is pure Spider-Man, and it exemplifies why Peter has such a difficult time maintaining healthy relationships with friends in general. Poor Peter just can’t seem to balance a normal life with his crime fighting persona.
  • Bad: Ned Leeds as generic exposition geyser – Before anyone gets out the long knives I think that the actor, Jacob Batalon put in a solid performance as Peter’s super nerdy best friend. I don’t have any issue with the actor or casting. My beef is that Ned was way too obnoxiously inquisitive, to the point that it was thinly veiled exposition. He asks how Peter got his powers, what his powers are, why he hasn’t told anyone about his new powers, why he isn’t trying to use them to impress Liz, etc. All of these questions are superfluous as they have already been answered by Peter’s actions. It seems like Ned exists purely to be the viewers guide, asking questions that they might not have gleaned from just watching the movie and comprehending what was happening. He even goes so far as to beg Peter to become “the guy in the chair” that helps him on missions, and guess what… he becomes the guy in the chair. Peter has never needed one of those in the comics, but sure, let’s have NEd become that guy so that he can continue to pump out necessary plot information and ask even more questions for the audience. You know, at least in the Austin Powers series they named this kind of character Basil Exposition.
  • Good: Michael Keaton as the Adrian Toomes/The Vulture – I’ve been a huge fan of Michael Keaton for decades. The man can pull anything off. Comedy, drama, crazy, romantic, serious, you name it and Keaton can do it. He puts in a thrilling performance as Adrian Toomes in Homecoming and actually comes off as one of the more believable and dimensional villains in the MCU. His story is tragic and the stakes for him are huge. In the face of a government forced bankruptcy, he does what he thinks he needs to in order to ensure his family’s financial security. He is strict leader that commands respect through his actions and because he looks out for his crew. He is brutally efficient during missions and absolutely ruthless when fighting against Spider-Man. Keaton brought a sense of magic to the roll, a depth that many of the MCU villains have not had. It would be wise for Marvel to take more time to create villains more like Toomes and Loki, and less like pretty much all the others.
  • Bad: Adrian Toomes as Liz Allen’s Father – Much like the omission of Unlce Ben and the lack of spider-sense, this change to Spider-Man’s mythos makes absolutely no sense. It is a weak plot device built specifically to drive a wedge between Peter and Liz, which was wholly unnecessary as their already was a huge wedge between them: Spider-Man. It is lazy writing, and frankly making Toomes’ family a random set with perhaps a disabled wife, or a special needs child would have made his turn to crime to support them that much more convincing.
  • Good: Spider-Man doesn’t kill or allow the villain to die – Perhaps the folks who make DC comics movies should watch this movie and learn a key lesson: a hero doesn’t have to kill a villain to win. This is a huge win for this film. So many comic films seem content to kill off the villain and that seems so bizarre to me. In the comics villains rarely ever die, that’s why they come back later to fight the hero again. A true superhero should not have to kill to be right or victorious, which is especially true of Spider-Man as he always tries to balance his power with his responsibility (or at least he would if Uncle Ben existed…). It warms my heart that not only did Peter not kill Toomes at the end of the movie, but he went out of his way to save his life when it appeared that the cargo that the Vulture was trying to steal was about to explode. This is Peter Parker, and comic book heroism, done right.
  • Bad: Penis Parker – If I never hear that said out loud again, it will be considered one of life’s greatest blessings, but seeing as I will inevitably sit through this movie again… it looks like I’m stuck with it. Yes, I know that teenage Flash Thompson is a douche-canoe in the comics too, but I also believe that a Spider-Man movie should be a movie I can take my kids to without having to worry about this level of stupidity or baseness. It was unnecessary, and they repeated the gag presumably because the six writers responsible for the script couldn’t come up with a better way to show that Flash Thompson was a grade A jerk. There were far better ways to make Flash unlikable without me having to explain to my 9 year old daughter why she can’t run around saying “Penis Parker.” Also, I didn’t care for the scene where the teenage girls were playing F, M, K. It was wholly unnecessary, and yet another thing that I shouldn’t have to explain to my young children after seeing a Spider-Man film.
  • Good: Zendaya as Michelle – Zendaya’s portrayal of the character was a breath of fresh air in the movie. If Ned drove me nuts by being Basil Exposition 2.0, then Michelle balanced that out by being the quirky off beat whip smart voice who was calling B.S. on everyone and everything. She was a genius, wild card, and a scene stealer. She clearly has a weather eye on Peter, even though she is too cool to let him know, which was a fun layer of complexity added to the film. I wish that she had factored more into the movie than she did (would have been an excellent replacement for Ned’s constant questioning), but ultimately this film had a lot going on and it was hard to find enough screen time for all of the many characters… especially considering that Homecoming is essentially Iron Man 4. ZING!

    I want to get detention, just to see how Michelle would draw me…
  • Bad: Michelle revealed to be M.J. at the end of the movie – It doesn’t make any sense. Again, if you are trying to do something different with Mary Jane Watson, that is fine… but her name is Michelle. She does not act like any version of Mary Jane that I have ever read. So, as curious as I am to find out what the plan for Michelle is in future movies, I think coming out and stating that she is M.J. at the end of the movie as an afterthought was a bit abrupt and meaningless.

Are You Noticing A Pattern Here?

I don’t know why anybody could possibly think that Spider-Man: Homecoming is Iron Man 4…

I could keep going back and forth like this for quite awhile longer, but for the sake of all involved I will stop here. This film was a yo-yo that was perpetually rising and falling in rapid succession. The peaks were high and thoroughly enjoyable, but so too were the valleys low and supremely frustrating. In the end, they mostly balance each other out to create a film that falls smack dab in the upper-middle of the Spider-Man movie pantheon. As it stands, here is my top Spidey film list (what’s interesting is how my list nearly perfectly lines up with the aggregate scores on Rotten Tomatoes):

  1. Spider-Man 2 – 94% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes
  2. Spider-Man – 89% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes
  3. Spider-Man Homecoming – 92% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes
  4. The Amazing Spider-Man – 72% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes
  5. Spider-Man 3 – 63% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes
  6. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – 52% rotten on Rotten Tomatoes

For the record: The Spectacular Spider-Man is better than all 6 of the movies combined, and an excellent example of how to modernize the mythology of Spider-Man while at the same time staying true to the character and spirit of the franchise. If you have not seen it, you should drop everything you are doing and watch The Spectacular Spider-Man right now!

This is the best modern non-comic version of Spider-Man. It is available on Digital, Blu-Ray, and DVD. Find a copy and watch it!

But enough about my lengthy and pointed opinions, what did you think of Spider-Man: Homecoming?

If you’ve seen Spider-Man: Homecoming and want to put your two cents down on the movie, sound off in the comments and tell me what you did or didn’t love about Spidey’s latest flick!

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2 Thoughts to “Marvel’s Spider-Man: Homecoming – The Nerfed Llamas Review”

  1. In your review you said you didn’t like the whole “Penis Parker” thing and how they could have made him seem like a jerk in other ways. Here’s the thing – In high school, I was called names by other kids and often the same kid and they were often repeated every day and I hated it just like Peter did and in the context of the movie it was another thing that I could relate to in the story having to deal with that on a daily basis. Also the F,M,K bit, that’s really something that High School kids do talk about and part of what this film set out to do was to portray what life is like in High School and it’s very accurate.

    1. My concern with the use of “Penis Parker” and “F, M, K” was not that they did not accurately depict typical teenage behavior, I was far more concerned with it being content that was not appropriate for all ages. Spider-Man comics, with very few exceptions, are acceptable for almost any age level to read. I have children from ages 9 and older and they love Spider-Man. As a parent, I’d rather not have to explain “F, M, K” or “Penis Parker” to my 9 year old. Even more than that, a Spider-Man film should not have to resort to such base material in order to show that Flash Thompson is a jerk or that teenage girls talk about how boys (Peter was repeatedly called “Puny Parker” by Flash Thompson in the comics, and that would work in the context of this film far better than “Penis Parker”). Whereas the 2 aforementioned items are authentic representations of the teenage experience, they have no place in a Spider-Man film.

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