Lately, I’ve been tired. Dead tired. Too tired to think. Too tired to hear the first 3 or 4 times that my alarm goes off in the morning. So tired that I find myself struggling to find the energy to do all the things I have to do, much less the things I’d like to do. I know what my problem is, but I’m just not sure how to fix it. I burn my candle at both ends, constantly. My average hours of sleep each night is 4, which was no big deal in my twenties, but now that I’m playing Dodgeball with forty, my body has started hating me for it.
My problem? I want to do everything, all the time, everyday. I know that it’s unrealistic to think that I can call upon some hitherto unforeseen super human ability to get all of these things done, but I still try regardless. And make no mistake, my weekday dance card is full: wake up at 6:30 AM, go to work by 8 AM, pump for the man till 5:30 PM, home by 6:15 PM, spend time with the kids, cook dinner, eat with the family, perform house chores, help get the kids bathed and in bed, spend time with my wife all by 11 PM, work on personal writing projects, work on the blog, promote my blog on social networks, try to find time to unwind with TV or a video game, inevitably fall asleep while still trying to conquer the world from my recliner by 2 AM. My weekends get slammed too! Between yard work, family outings, religious pit stops, birthday parties, working on call, fun with the kids and wife, and the random events that can happen when you are married into a large extended family.
I don’t want to stop doing everything all the time, but at the same time, I gotta get some damned sleep. I’ve never been very good at balancing things, time and budgets especially, and so trying to sacrifice a few things nightly to gain an hour or so of sleep has been a challenge. I’m losing this challenge, but I have not given up. I will press on and attempt to shed some obligations, in the hopes that my productivity will spike into the positive as I slowly reclaim my sleep debt. Until then, I will leave you with the sage like words and music of the Ben Folds Five: