Tag: nerfed llamas

Coming Soon: Marco Headroom! @marcorubio #25SecondSpeech #Rubio

Packy - Head Llama

The election cycle during Presidential election years can be particularly grueling in the United States of ‘Merica. You often get to see the best and the worst of each candidate in mostly equal measure. On rare occasion you get to see a candidate lose his shit like a shit collector with amnesia. That rare Pokemon occurred last Saturday when Republican hopeful Marco Rubio short circuited on the stage and repeatedly spouted off the same sentence over and over again parroting his memorized 25 second speech. Just take a gander at…

Diabetic Dracula – Was it a Gerbil or a Hamster? #DiabeticDracula

Packy - Head Llama

*** Author’s note: if you have not witnessed the birth of the new legend, then I highly suggest that you read the woeful first tale of Diabetic Dracula!  If you elect to skip the origin story, well then the count respectfully invites you to “vuck off!” Choose wisely reader. ***   Diabetic Dracula: Was it a Gerbil or a Hamster?By: PackyIt was an obnoxiously warm night in the Casa de Dracula, or at least the Master thought it was. A single bead of sweat slowly swam its way down the…

People Suck, Wait, Social Media Sucks, No Wait People on Social Media Suck #WholeLotOfSuckingGoingOn

Packy - Head Llama

Friends are the worst. Wait, that’s not fair. Friends are amazing, valuable people. Social Media, and by extension how people choose to use it, is the worst. There, that about sums it up. Good post. See you tomorrow with a new Best Album You’ve Never Heard Of! No? Elaborate? OK. Since you (I assume) asked, here’s my point: Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) have given everyone a voice, and that’s a beautiful thing in some ways. For the LGBTQ community, it has allowed them to find and connect with…

Coming Soon: Clockwork Cosby! @BillCosby #PuddingPops #Cosby

Packy - Head Llama

In light of recent news that indicates that Bill Cosby will likely have his day in court to answer to the serious allegations of sexual assault that have been levied against him, I thought today would be a fantastic day to unveil my next faux cinematic masterpiece: Clockwork Cosby! A depraved and raw look into the psyche of a man who has quite possibly sexually assaulted over 50 women. It has all of the bartending tips that a sad sack lech might need to trap his prey, as well as…

Best Movies You’ve Never Heard Of: Logan’s Run #RunRunner

Packy - Head Llama

LOGAN’S RUN Hailed as the “first motion picture of the 23rd century”, Logan’s Run was a wild and burgeoning sci-fi tumbleweed of an ambitious film. You dare to doubt me on this? Watch the original 3 minute long trailer here and bask in the hyper stylized world that is Logan’s Run. There is visually striking architecture everywhere, post apocalyptic overtones, Cirque du Soleil acrobatics, poofs of ecstasy like hedonistic smoke thrown into the air, sexy sexiness at every turn, all manner of futuristic technology and laser beams as far as the eye can see.…

You Love Me, You Really Love Me #Stats #ThankYou

Packy - Head Llama

As a fun little sociological experiment, I decided to look at my web host’s statistics page for my website. Point of information: I check my WordPress stats a couple times per week to get a snapshot of how this blog is doing. I thought it was doing moderately OK, not gangbusters mind you, but definitely there was steady viewership. What I didn’t know, was that the Wordpress stats page didn’t paint the whole picture as it did not capture views from subscriptions, RSS feeds, and a variety of other distribution methods not…

The Catalogers of Time: The Library of Alexandria

Packy - Head Llama

The Catalogers of Time Series started with the incident at Fort Phantom Hill and then continued with the fiery demise of Polonus Vorstius. Today we find the Smithsonian’s Historical Discovery Unit in a state of flux. Inter-personal strife and technical set backs have put the future of this costly operation in jeopardy. They need to prove that the exorbitant cost of their division will bear valuable fruit for the Smithsonian Institute. The Library of Alexandria “More coffee!” Mr. Simon hollered across the lab to an intern as he used a microfiber cloth…

Doctor Strangehair: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Male Pattern Baldness

Packy - Head Llama

Hair today, gone tomorrow: Fact: I have been struggling on a very personal and emotional level, for going on over a decade now. Always in a constant and bitter war, one that I have been forever destined to lose… against my hair. Born with naturally thin and flighty hair, I stood on fairly shaky ground to begin with, but somewhere in my mid twenties, my hair started to evacuate my scalp much like rats deserting a sinking ship. My hair has always been a bit of an enigma. As a…

Coming Soon: Titanic #Bonus #Trump #Palin

Packy - Head Llama

I wasn’t gonna do this one (low hanging fruit and whatnot), but then I did and it’s ugly as sin (as it should be), but I thought the message really said all it needed to: Trump + Palin = Titanic the unsinkable ship that… well, sank. It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Trump, so thanks Sarah “nail-in-the-coffin” Palin! I was ready for Trump to disappear sooner than later anyway. Bonus, I made sure they both had “O” faces, because tragic love and so on and so forth… Coming Soon: …

Coming Soon: Hillary Clinton in Concussion #Helmet #Concussion

Packy - Head Llama

I know… I said I was going to go somewhere in the middle this week, but then I came across the poster for the Will Smith film Concussion, and then I thought… you know who would be excellent in that movie? Hillary Clinton. She already has the football helmet, might as well have the movie too! So without further adieu, Nerfed Llamas presents their soon to be smash blockbuster multiple Oscar winning drama: Concussion starring ol’ Secretary Breaks Her Head. Coming Soon: NB4 someone comments about the crappy cg/paint job,…