I have written a handful of these tacky little tales of the deranged Bob and his continuing misadventures. If it tickles your fancy, you can read them: Bob’s Dangling Solution, Bob Returns a Video Tape to Blockbuster, and Bob Files His Taxes. May God have mercy on your soul if choose to read them. I’ll say a few “nomine Patris” for you. A Day in the Life of Bob By: Packy The night was sultry, not that this descriptive opening statements has any bearings on the story being told, nor…
Tag: humor
PSA: No New Blog Posts This Week, Also Readers Needed – Apply Within! #AmWriting #TIAL
PSA: No New Blog Posts This Week… Except This One! I have been taking this week to focus on my writing, which is actually one of the major goals of starting this blog up in the first place. As such, I will not have much time to dedicate to new blog entries for this week. Instead, I have been editing a novel that I have been writing for a while now, in the run up to completing the handful of chapters that I have left to type. The problem that…
Coming Soon: Internet @UnburntWitch @tim_cook @Snowden #ZeroCool #GamerGate
In light of all of the Internet related shenanigans that have been going on over the last few years, I have decided that it is well past time to put a film together that addresses the core issues of the modern ‘net. You have GamerGate, Security and Privacy Concerns as well as a Shady USA Government which seems exceptionally content doing absolutely nothing to address and/or fix these issues. However, we do have heroes that are fighting against the system to ensure that we don’t go gently into that good night. They…
Coming Soon: Marco Headroom! @marcorubio #25SecondSpeech #Rubio
The election cycle during Presidential election years can be particularly grueling in the United States of ‘Merica. You often get to see the best and the worst of each candidate in mostly equal measure. On rare occasion you get to see a candidate lose his shit like a shit collector with amnesia. That rare Pokemon occurred last Saturday when Republican hopeful Marco Rubio short circuited on the stage and repeatedly spouted off the same sentence over and over again parroting his memorized 25 second speech. Just take a gander at…
Coming Soon: Clockwork Cosby! @BillCosby #PuddingPops #Cosby
In light of recent news that indicates that Bill Cosby will likely have his day in court to answer to the serious allegations of sexual assault that have been levied against him, I thought today would be a fantastic day to unveil my next faux cinematic masterpiece: Clockwork Cosby! A depraved and raw look into the psyche of a man who has quite possibly sexually assaulted over 50 women. It has all of the bartending tips that a sad sack lech might need to trap his prey, as well as…
The Birth of Diabetic Dracula #AmWriting #DiabeticDracula
Think of today’s original fiction piece as a tacky movie pitch for Adam Sandler’s next direct to Netflix movie or perhaps even TV series. It’s absurdly silly, it requires an extreme amount of linguistic overacting, and it’s a straight up comedy – all perfect for Sandler. Also, it would be a hard “R” rated horror-comedy, which would diversify his movie portfolio nicely. So if you are reading this, Mr. Sandler (or anybody else with wads of disposable funds that you would like to throw at me), and you like it:…
Coming Soon: The TRUMPING #Trump #RealHorror #America
With the primary voting for the Presidential hopefuls starting next week, things are looking bleak for the United States of America. On the Democrat side you have Hillary Clinton (who’s petering out like she did in 2008) and Bernie Sanders (who couldn’t possibly accomplish 75% of his ridiculous agenda). On the Republican side you have Marco (Establishment Whipping Boy) Rubio, Ted (Never Gonna Get The Party’s Approval) Cruz, and the heir apparent: Donald (What The Eff Is Wrong With This Country) Trump. Bleak, my friends, very bleak. Donald Trump recently…
Coming Soon: Titanic #Bonus #Trump #Palin
I wasn’t gonna do this one (low hanging fruit and whatnot), but then I did and it’s ugly as sin (as it should be), but I thought the message really said all it needed to: Trump + Palin = Titanic the unsinkable ship that… well, sank. It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Trump, so thanks Sarah “nail-in-the-coffin” Palin! I was ready for Trump to disappear sooner than later anyway. Bonus, I made sure they both had “O” faces, because tragic love and so on and so forth… Coming Soon: …
Coming Soon: Hillary Clinton in Concussion #Helmet #Concussion
I know… I said I was going to go somewhere in the middle this week, but then I came across the poster for the Will Smith film Concussion, and then I thought… you know who would be excellent in that movie? Hillary Clinton. She already has the football helmet, might as well have the movie too! So without further adieu, Nerfed Llamas presents their soon to be smash blockbuster multiple Oscar winning drama: Concussion starring ol’ Secretary Breaks Her Head. Coming Soon: NB4 someone comments about the crappy cg/paint job,…
The Day After the Party #ShortScript #OriginalFiction
Back around 2006, my friend Bobby and I were heavily into the idea of being the next generation of filmmakers. We thought we would be Rodriguez and Tarantino 2.0. Flash forward to 10 years later and we both still have our dreams and ambitions, we both just go after them in different ways now. But back then, we tried to do a lot of things together from writing, to filming and going to the movies (for research of course!). We liked to write scripts, whether short or long, and then trade…