For A Good Time, Call… A Movie Pitch for Full Moon Features
As promised for my 2nd annual Full Moon Features celebration, a new month of Full Moon reviews & articles, and a brand new movie pitch as well!
Hello to Charles Band and to all of the fine creative individuals at Full Moon Features, as well as my amazing readers (that’s you!). My name is Packy Smith, and I have been working on a new movie pitch for Full Moon Features this month. First and foremost, I would like to thank Mr. Band and his team for bringing movie fans around the world such thrilling and engaging classic franchises such as Puppet Master, Subspecies, and Trancers. I also feel that it is important to mention the newer concepts, such as Evil Bong, Gingerdead Man, and Ravenwolf Towers, as they are now a part of the Full Moon Features legacy. What I have prepared for you today is a sample of the creative passion and the inspiration that I have drawn from the Full Moon universe of motion pictures. This 2nd annual month long celebration of the wildly bizarre films that Full Moon Features makes has been all about promoting quality low budget indie filmmaking, and also about spending an entire month watching classic and new movies from their vast catalog. It’s been a great month for me (again) because Full Moon Features makes some truly entertaining films. Last year I had a lot of fun writing a pitch and an entire script for a proposed Trancers 7 (which I can send to you at any moment Charles!), so I decided to do it all over again. This time, instead of writing a sequel to an existing Full Moon property, I thought it would be more fun to pitch a new idea. Strap in folks, things are going to get all sorts of weird, naughty, and intergalactic planetary going forward!
What is For A Good Time, Call…: I’m glad you asked! For A Good Time, Call… is a sci-fi comedy with a sexy/campy vibe that turns normal conventions on its ear. The idea is to take the idea of a standard rom-com and make it something bizarre, absurdly adventurous, and outlandishly funny. The concept is akin to what Charles Band accomplished in his 70’s production of Cinderella (aka The Adult Cinderella) that I reviewed earlier this month. For A Good Time, Call… starts off familiar with a young man trying to land a really good date in the really real world, but ends up cruising the universe with a knockout babe from another planet on a sexy interstellar adventure in the same vein as the cult classic Barbarella. It’s a classic boy meets a bunch of girls, boy doesn’t connect with any of them, boy gets desperate and calls a “for a good time” number scribbled on the bathroom wall at a restaurant, boy unwittingly summons an alien from another planet, boy visits the cosmos on a kinky space date with said alien, boy fiends true love that knows no boundaries kind of story. You’ll love it!
The Pitch: For A Good Time, Call… is the story of Zeke, a mild-mannered video game designer with a quirky sense of humor. Zeke is a good looking fellow and very social, but for one reason or another hasn’t been able to land the girl of his dreams quite yet. He’s tried everything: regular dates, meeting women at a local bar, blind dates, internet dating, speed dating, friend of a friend recommendations… everything. No matter what he tries, he and his lady friend just never seem to “click.” After a seemingly endless symphony of bad dates, Zeke tries to escape a particularly onerous date with a woman that instantly and obnoxiously clings to him a bit too much (already planning their marriage and their next 50 years together) by hiding in the men’s room to make a getaway plan. Desperately searching for a way out, Zeke sees a number written on the bathroom wall with the inscription “For a good time, call…”and he concocts a harebrained scheme. Fully expecting the number to belong to an escort, Zeke would call them up and pay them to save him from the date by claiming they were a jealous girlfriend carrying his child. The escort would pull off the psycho wronged girlfriend routine and he would look bad in front of his date, who would in turn never call him again (or continue to plan their future together anymore) and he would be free. It was a bad plan, but it was the only plan he had, so he calls the number and after a young woman says “hello?” on the other end of the line, the very same woman appears naked on Zeke’s lap in the bathroom stall! Her name is Wesa, and she is firecracker of a woman that is trying to escape her boring life. She is no ordinary lady even though her body is similar in shape and proportion to that of a normal human she is in fact an alien from another planet! Her features set her apart, as her hair is wild green and all of her skin shimmers (almost like glitter) in pink and purple hues. She is beyond exotic and has a quirky and impulsive sensibility that has no regard for human customs. Wesa also has a mouthy flying A.I. assistant who looks like a slim smartphone, his name is Jim. Between the 3 of them, they concoct an even more harebrained idea to get her clothes and escape the restaurant! From there, Zeke, Wesa, and Jim go on an adventure that takes them from modern day inner city life all the way to interstellar space travel in a Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) style adventure that challenges societal norms, values, and standards in all of the most subversive ways.
The Hook: For A Good Time, Call… is the perfect b-movie comedy, just like Evil Bong before it. It’s fun, sexy, irreverent, brash, over-the-top, and absurdly weird. It’s a terrific vehicle for a company like Full Moon Features because it sticks to the campy fun that has made so many other Full Moon movies awesome like: Oblivion, Dollman, Bad Channels, and Evil Bong. Casting would be fun and could result in a lot of up and coming actors being selected for key parts. Jim is particularly funny, and as a voice over only character it would be smart to get a solid stand up comedian to play the part and let them ad-lib their way into finding the right comedic flow for the character. This is a character driven piece, and Zeke, Wesa, and Jim are amazing and funny characters that will delight the bizarre tribe of Full Moon fans. This flick is our kind of flick.
The Good News: A popular writer/filmmaker that I follow on social media is always handing out little nuggets of free advice to up and coming writers. A year ago he posited that you should never pitch a new idea, even for a sequel, without a script ready for the folks the pitch is intended for to read. I have finished writing the first draft of For A Good Time, Call… this month and I’m ready to send a copy to the appropriate individual at Full Moon Features. You can see photographic proof of the script right here in my Full Moon Features loving hand!
What Do You Have To Lose? Mr. Band, allow me the privilege of sending you a copy of my script for For A Good Time, Call… Think of my script not only as the potential for a great film project that could star a ton of young and sexy up and coming talent, but also as an example of the quality of my work in consideration for other writing projects you may have and/or need at Full Moon Features. I love Full Moon Features and would love to write scripts for any of the wide variety of projects that Full Moon has, or will have in development in the near future. Also, I would love to have your feedback on my script.
I’ll anxiously await a response. I can be reached via email at: packy@nerfedllamas.com
