Category: Wednesday is a Writer

A Very Very Very Very Short Story – Original Fiction

Packy - Head Llama

A Very Very Very Very Short Story The First Door Arthur woke up in a darkened room. A narrow sliver of light passed through an apparent door frame across the room. The light was hardly enough illumination to make anything out, and Arthur tried with all of his senses to ascertain the contents of the room. As near as he could tell the room was empty. No furniture or items of any kind. After slowly regaining his wits, Arthur cautiously crawled his way towards the door. He felt his way up the…

Retardo Bruce Willis Mad Libs – Original Short Screenplay

Packy - Head Llama

At certain points in time, when my brain won’t wrap around the next portion of what I actually want to write (i.e. my novel that keeps throwing me creative curve-balls), I take a break from trying to squeeze words from the turnip and I turn my attention onto something short and potentially fun to write. It is healthy to give yourself writing challenges frequently, as it promotes fresh thought and it gives you a great reason to keep writing. If you get lucky, sometimes you can even write something that…

Frank Gallagher, Detective to the Stars: the Oasis Debacle – Original Fiction

Packy - Head Llama

Frank Gallagher, Detective to the Stars: the Oasis Debacle – Original Fiction It was 7:47 in the A.M. when I got the call. Some fast talking professional was jawing their lips ninety to nothing about a stalker bothering their client. I wasn’t a huge fan of idle chatter, so I made like a blade and cut to the quick with this knucklehead. Bottom line: he represented a famous musician from the UK, and wanted my assurance that if hired I would put an end to some super fan that was…

Bob Returns a Video Tape to Blockbuster – Original Fiction

Packy - Head Llama

Bob Returns a Video Tape to Blockbuster – Original Fiction “It was as humid as hell,” Bob thought gently to himself as he lay horizontally in his recliner, bathed in only his own sweat. The ceiling fan was rocking from side to side in a violent rhythm that made it seem as if it had just snorted a line of coke (not the delicious beverage), but the cool wind generated by these gyrations weren’t enough. Not only was it hot, but the air was filled with the outstanding aroma of…

The Unrefined: A Fodo Finish – Original Fiction

Packy - Head Llama

Head count: 8 people in the convenience store. 3 teenage male Caucasians by the soft drink fountain, 2 Latina twenty-somethings at the counter getting ready to buy cigarettes, an older Asian male browsing the snack options, an Arab male assigned to cash register duty, and 1 adult white male by the ice machine. The man guarding the ice box surveys the store one last time, just to be sure before he starts. The Latinas are giggling and making fun of the convenience store clerk in Spanish, believing that he cannot…

Adventures in Staffing: a Day at the Office – Memoirs

Packy - Head Llama

Adventures in Staffing: a Day at the Office – Memoirs Woke up at 6:10 AM. Correction, hit snooze at 6:10 AM, and proceeded to snooze until 6:36 AM. Reluctantly, I slithered out of my bed, away from the covers and the loving wife that I could still be comfortably spooning. I slapped my hand against the switch panel on the wall in the bathroom, accidentally turning the exhaust on instead of the light, then nearly crapped my boxer shorts because it sounded like a 747 taking off just above me.…

BAMF! – the Dead Stacys original song – lyrics

Packy - Head Llama

I promised the world a song this week, or at least the lyrics for a song, and I aim to keep my promises. This is actually part of a long term goal/passion project I have been cooking up for years now. It’s a total comic book nerd concept album, which will mix my love for comics with my favorite music types, namely rock, punk, new wave, big band, and pop. It’s like the best of comics meets the best of rock n roll for the Marvel Team Up of the…

The Cataloguers of Time: Fort Phantom Hill – Original Fiction

Packy - Head Llama

The Cataloguers of Time: Fort Phantom Hill – A Short Story By: Packy Smith Jarrod flipped a switch on the console in front of him, and a parade of lights and images danced across the machinery and monitors of his workspace. He checked the readings on various devices and made a few input entries into his computer before giving the “thumbs up” to the man on the platform to his left. That man, Mr. Simon, having been given the all clear from downstairs, clapped his hands together and shouted, “hot…

Quit Your Day Job – Original Fiction

Packy - Head Llama

Quit Your Day Job – A Short Story By: Packy Smith Jim sat at his desk, despondent, listless, staring at a liquid crystal display that felt more or less the same as he did. They were both stuck in the same place doing a job they didn’t want to do. Jim was uncertain as to what he would like to do, he had so many ideas, but lacked the impetus to see them through. The LCD Monitor did not have this same problem, it wanted to maintain a garden and…

Bob Files His Taxes – Original Fiction

Packy - Head Llama

The morning was sultry, or at least that was how Bob felt every time he woke up to see that the height of the teepee in his whitey-tighties was larger than normal. He believed this because he couldn’t be bothered to understand the science behind the phenomenon of nocturnal penile tumescence, or as the dudebros, soccer moms and essentially everyone else called it: morning wood. Bob gleefully giggled in a giddily gregarious and gloriously goofy way for precisely 38 minutes, at which point he woke up, went to the bathroom,…